wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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