Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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