But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
