I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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