Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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