she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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