his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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