can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am naked and annoyed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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