I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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