Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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