That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize