Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We left the knife in your bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
