the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
