I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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