yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
