I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
