he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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