I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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