Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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