And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
