Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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