It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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