..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
