if i can run in heels then i can drive
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
COCAINE IS GR8
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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