she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
