I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
