id be glad to
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
