She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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