so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
jump out the window naked night went bad
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
