i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
