just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
