So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
