Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
