Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
