She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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