what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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