Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
