Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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