sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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