We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
