margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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