I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
