Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
