angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
