It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
