her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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