Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
