I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
