Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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