Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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