Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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