Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
