Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
