weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
