the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
