It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
