you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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