he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
