these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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