My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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