I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
