If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
