Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
